| Today is the 27th of September... and I haven't gotten a job yet.
I will go to school next year. Just you wait. And I won't
use pity tactics to be accepted, I will use business tactics. I am
the crummiest of products, but I will sell.
Dammit. I will. I am going to apply to Brandeis- maybe
some others... Bard? Lawrence? Boston University? Hm..........
I had another dream a few days ago, that is how I wrote my story. That
story is not good, but my dream was really good. I had a dream Drew
Carey was this weird guy, who had picked me up as his Bond girl, and Tommy
Lee Jones was his enemy- and that all sorts of people were from my school,
giving me weird looks, saying I can't sit here, and telling me not to
use the toilet without a stall.. as if I might.
| I had another dream I was fat and
had a moustache... and this was at college, but for some reason, my dormroom
was above a family room, with two beetles in the living room. It was
their children's toys, apparantly. Beetles as in cars. The parents
It must have been a bad college. I was wearing plaid.. and I
was looking in the mirror, under bright lights, imagining the terrific album
cover my pale face would make in inverted lights. Then.. as I got closer
to real light, I noticed my moustache and huge gut. That was me in
college, or that would've been me if I had not have taken a year off- really?
Who knows.. but I am protected because that dream symbolizes the
alternative fate I avoided. Because clearly I will never wear plaid,
And I won't live above a family with two beetles in their living room...It
was a small room. They didn't want their little kids not playing with
interesting things. They were making sure they had cool toys,
What type of friends would I have made with that look, probably under
the witness protection program. I had lots of friends. I know
that. But who were they? I think they were geeks. Geeks
like me. Except they were guys.
|I have no clue what to write.
will have ideas.. and this will be waiting for me.
I will tell you some songs I like right now: fruit, I forgot
Movies: I saw a few yesterday, but they were both teenybopper
movies and I thought it would be a cheap thrill, but even lowering my
expectations I couldn't enjoy them. What do you title a movie without
a plot? "She's All That."
What do you call a movie that has Neve Campbell in it, who can't act,
who is ugly, who is very uninteresting, boyish, stupid, naive, snotty, stupid?
Oh, well she deserves two stupids. "Scream 2". Once for
the plot, a second time for her. Okay... so my criticism is amateur-
but less so than her acting.
I will now presume to save this page so it can be unread for thirty days.
You won't witness me surrending? I will write until my finger pads
hurt and hurt.
I wil give myself those things people get when they are playing guitar
too long. I used to play guitar- in fact, I still do technically- I
am just on a haitus. Is that how it works? Really, I can actually
say, I used to play viola, because I am taking the longest hiatus from that,
so that is knocked off the hiatus list. And I will kick the saxaphone
off too. That leaves me with guitar, piano, drums and voice. Those
have been on hiatus, but they have been outweighed by the other ones. So,
I truly do play those instruments.
|If my dog wants to get on my
couch, what do I do? Listen to him whine... or let him get on the couch,
and listen to my family whine. They whine in echoes of five. One
says something, and the other repeats it. It goes on and on, they keep
contributing to the cluster of whines. Are there five members of the
famliy besides me? I don't know, but there could be just two and they
could jump onto each other's criticisms on me, like a crowd of twenty, so
five is really being nice. I have a threshold. And my dog meets
1/10 of it. They meet 9/10 of it. So I will sit here and let
him whine. That is a good idea.
I wish they had shock treatment for bad decisions. I read in
the paper they had shock treatment prgrams, in juvenile detention halls for
kids, headed in the wrong path: breaking probation, and such. They
should have shock treatment for bad decisions. Like- give two scenarios
of a decision, and make you live the bad one, and the good.. to help you
For instance... if you plan on getting, liposuction- they should have
a thirty day period where you experience stuff liposuction patients experience
after surgery. I really don't know how they would do that, but somehow,
they should manage to figure out a way to give these patients with this decision,
shock treatment. Because THEY should know. They are the decision
makers, they need to do it. Who is they? So cool.
Okay, I'm done. Pass the salt. I'm salty.